Weird al thats your horoscope for today

That's Your Horoscope for Today!

Your Horoscope For Today Lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic

Gemini Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest. Cancer The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test.

Leo Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's face, oh no Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik. Virgo All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick.

"Weird Al" Yankovic - The Saga Begins (Official Video)

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true. Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.

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I Lost On Jeopardy. Dinor Rdt Massa. Libra A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented than you Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week Scorpio Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window. Lyrics licensed by LyricFind. All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick.

Libra A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that you Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week. Scorpio Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak.

Sagittarius All your friends are laughing behind your back kill them Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den. Capricorn The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again. South Of The Border.

Fear Inoculum. Cross You Out. Does it mean anything special hidden between the lines to you?

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  • Weird Al Yankovic – Your Horoscope For Today lyrics!

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Your Horoscope for Today Lyrics: AQUARIUS! / There's travel in your future when your tongue / Freezes to the back of a speeding bus / Fill that void in your. Some people consider the zodiac to have an additional sign, Orphiuchus; to this end, Al tweeted some new lyrics for this sign in "You'll become the center.

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Your Horoscope For Today Lyrics by WEIRD AL YANKOVIC

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Ugly Irl.